Starting School IS an Adventure
I saw a post by a homeschooling parent in the last week of the school holidays about how good life is for them when everyone goes back to school and they get tourist spots to themselves. It really annoyed me and after reflecting a while, I think it’s because of this stereotype that you only have fun and adventures if you’re not living a conventional life. And that’s not true. So, I’ve put together an adventure manifesto for all the parents taking this journey into school parenting for the first time. Regular school is not a break from adventures, it is an adventure in and of itself.
Your First Year As a School Parent
To begin with, there is all the excitement of a new adventure. Everyone is taking photos and getting ready and saying “are you looking forward to school?” You wonder who you’ll meet along the way – the new teacher, new friends, maybe some old friends too. The thrill of something new, something unknown.
Like any adventure, there is the packing list. Depending on what sort of school you’re going to will affect your list. Five star cruises are a different deal to backpacking and camping. But regardless of school, you can get swept up in the ‘must-have’ culture. Do they really need that many uniforms, or that brand of bag, personalised name labels or a $100 lunch box? Camping is the same – people camped under the stars for thousands of years before we needed all the gear. Then again, the gear helps. But don’t assume you need it – what one family needs on any adventure is different to the next family. I recommend starting with the bare minimum and then adding in what you need as you find you need it (you might even find you can get around some of those ‘must haves’ with a bit of resourcefulness, which adds to the adventure satisfaction).
Then there’s the travel and the route. Do you plan out your route and pack the car and bags the night before? Do you use a navigation system or just wing it? Do you leave early to arrive with plenty of time, allowing for traffic and hazards along the way? Do you find out about parking and drop off/pick up options beforehand? With my kids, we did some practise walks to school so it felt familiar, but then they were always too tired or running late. Sometimes the best plans get thrown out the window as soon as you begin.
Some kids (and parents) will be nervous or anxious before starting, and as new experiences occur throughout the year. Some won’t be phased at all and will rocket into things.
With any adventure, there are the ups and downs. Anyone who has hiked with kids knows there are parts of the trek that require a lot of work to get the kids’ to keep going. The fun wears off. The discomfort starts (homework, anyone?) – blisters, heat, hunger, boredom, exhaustion. The route starts to seem a lot further in reality.
There are also moments when you feel settled into the rhythm. The routine begins to feel manageable, comfortable, familiar. You don’t notice the miles passing by as you’re going. Then you reach a lookout or a summit, some great memorable moment to help you see how far you’ve all come, and how it’s been worth the effort.
There will be surprises. Even if you’ve hiked the route years ago, things can change. Even though school is essentially the same, there are so many differences since I was there too, and my kids are different to what I was like as a kid. That’s part of the journey, even though things are familiar, it’s not exactly as you expect. And there are so many surprising moments, like being so damn proud of your little baby all grown up and settling in and being independent.
You’ll need rest stops. Physically and mentally. Some families need more than others, just like on hikes. Notice the signs of exhaustion and embrace resting for recuperating. Extra-curricular activities (including social activities) are sort of the equivalent of extra walks to lookouts that veer off the main trek (there are only so many of these you can do before you just need to stick to the main route). Keep the longevity of the adventure in mind, no one can sprint for a year.
Everyone grows from adventures. One of the biggest surprises was how much school would change my daughter. She went from this nervous, shy little darling, to a confident, clever and curious kid. And I have changed too. Journeys have that effect.
Celebrate the end. By the end of the year, you will all be exhausted (just like a good trip) but in a very satisfied way. You’ll need a good rest, so plan to have some down time and some fun. You’ve earned it.
Adventure Notes
Here are a few tips to help with this massive journey ahead:
Pack light, physically and emotionally. Hikes are harder with more gear, or the more expectations you have. Keep it simple and prioritise, especially in the beginning.
Get plenty of rest. Make sure a good sleep routine is a priority. This is another reason not to do extra curricular stuff yet. A full-time school routine is a huge adventure when you’re starting out, make sure you have plenty of down time, rest time, and free play time in the afternoons and on weekends (where possible).
Remember to take photos throughout the year. The year will pass by, don’t just get pics at the main lookouts, get pics to remember the journey too.
Snacks. No kid can have a good adventure without lots of sustenance. Focus on what’s healthy and will give long-lasting energy, for you as well. The healthier you feel, the easier it will be.
Hiking buddies – try to make some other friends along the way. Some people like to travel alone, and that’s fine, but you’ll have a much more enjoyable journey if you can even just recognise people along the route to say hi to, or ask directions from. Other school parents have saved me so many times when I didn’t want to pester the teachers to ask questions.
Embrace the adventure. Everyone has different experiences and feelings about school, but just like any other adventure, it’s up to you what you make of it.
Starting a new season of life is an adventure, regardless of what type of schooling your family chooses. Even Alastair Humphreys, an epic adventurer, said that once things are familiar they don’t really count as adventures anymore (learning to play and perform the violin became more of an adventure for him than crossing a desert or ocean). The first year of being a School Mum was a massive adventure for me, but I also see, as I’m going into my second year of school parenting, that it gets more familiar. And the same goes for homeschoolers (or worldschoolers or unschoolers, etc) – just because it’s unconventional doesn’t make it more adventurous, especially once it’s familiar and comfortable. Adventures are new, daunting, exciting, difficult, unpredictable, and have an enticing sense of satisfaction upon completion. Humphreys says you’ll need determination, significant effort, curiosity and a sense of humour – God knows I’ve needed all those things getting my kid to school on time in that first year. Lazing on a beach while my kids play? That’s the easy route for me, and it wouldn’t be much of an adventure.
Never assume a conventional life has to be an unadventurous one.
So if you’re heading to school for the first time this year, with a kid dressed in a bright and shiny uniform, happy travels! And good luck.