Commit! Don’t Wait for Perfect Timing
It’s a crazy fact that if you don’t commit to family adventures, they are far less likely to happen. These days we are all busy and have lots going on, even on weekends. It’s pretty much guaranteed any free weekend will fill up with something. And planning a trip or outing for a family can take a bit of effort, which no one feels like doing at the last minute.
There are always barries and reasons why it’s not the best time to go.
We spent a year waiting for a perfect weekend to go camping. It was raining constantly (and if it wasn’t, the ground was still muddy), or too windy. Other barriers were that we’d had a big week and needed a weekend with nothing on, or someone was sick, or there were Saturday morning sports, or birthday parties or social catch ups. Even with a deep desire and good intentions, and the right gear, we didn’t go camping once all last year.
I’m still amazed, or more accurately, dumbfounded, that during a whole school year we didn’t find one weekend to go camping.
Compare that to the year before, when covid was still a problem. We camped in the rain, we camped close to home, we camped when we were tired and didn’t feel like doing anything, and we even camped when we had colds. The only difference – we had booked in the dates in our calendar.
The problem is, no matter how much we want more adventure, it isn’t easy to fit it in when you’ve got a family with multiple commitments (spontaneity was easier when you were just a couple, right?). You don’t always feel like it. You wait for the right time, the perfect weather, and those things rarely come. If everything seems perfect, you can bet it’s a long weekend or school holiday and everywhere will be booked out.
We had this situation occur just last week. A close friend decided last minute to have a kid’s birthday party, on the weekend we were planning to finally go camping. We hadn’t committed to camping because we were waiting to see what the weather forecast would be (we’re sick of camping in the rain). Even when you think your weekend will be free for choosing, other people’s priorities have a way of seeping in and taking over your time.
Now in the long run, no one is going to remember if we were at that kid’s birthday party or not. Hardcore adventurers would tell you to ditch the social connections (“real life is out there!”) but I believe social connections and community are built on the small seemingly insignificant moments, compounded over time. You don’t just get to show up for Christmas and have deep relationships. But family adventures are important too. So we readjusted. Maybe we shouldn’t have fit both in, but we did. We left camping early so the kids could make it back for the party while my husband unpacked the car at home. That’s compromise without too much sacrifice (and unpacking without kids around is actually a bonus!).
Your adventure of choice might not be camping. It might be going for a swim at the beach, a couple hours drive away. It might be going for a bike ride around town. Or sleeping out in the backyard under a new moon. Whatever family trip you want to do, it is only going to happen if you commit. Spontaneous adventures are fun, but just not as likely. Maybe it worked before kids, but it’s so much harder with a family! Besides, if you commit to an adventure, you can always keep doing spontaneous ones too.
Here are some practical tips to help you commit, depending on your level of spontaneity, and adventure of choice:
Block out a single weekend, in the next six weeks, on your calendar. No other commitments are allowed (unless you are compromising like we did, but still keeping the adventure commitment!).
Working parents can put in for holiday leave. It might only be a few hours on a Friday afternoon. You might need to request a weekend or a week if you are planning a holiday/trip. Don’t assume it will be ok with your boss if you leave it until the date, because guaranteed there will be ‘important tasks’ no matter when you want to have time off. There are always important tasks, they never go away. And if they do, you’ll miss out on time off because someone else more organised already got in first. Even if you have the time off, and then it’s bad weather, just do something else or go anyway. (Bad weather = bonding + memories + character growth.)
Commit with friends. Then you won’t want to back out, because you’ll let someone down. Or even just tell people you’re doing it, so you feel accountable. (I told people we were going to camp more this year, and at least once a week someone asks me if we’ve been camping yet.)
Book a site/accommodation somewhere.
If you’re busy, or stressed, or tired, or sick, having an adventure might actually be the refresh you need. It never feels easy to make an adventure happen, but when you go, it’s like clicking a reset button on your body and mind. And you can do this in a couple hours midweek, it doesn’t have to be a big weekend adventure. (Microadventures are proof of this – there are lots of ways to have an adventure on your workday commute, or during your evening sleep, for example.)
There will never be a perfect time for adventure, the only time you have is now.
Your Turn
Let me know in the comments below what adventure/travel goals you want to commit to this year. (I want to take my kids camping at least 4 times.)