When You Don’t Feel Like an Adventure
Recently I’ve had a few experiences where I’ve really noticed people not wanting to have adventures. Whether it’s friends who downright don’t want an out-of-comfort-zone experience, friends who roll their eyes at our next ideas and plans and constant talk of adventures, me when I’ve been feeling run-down, or simply a tired child who refuses to get dressed for a day out. I have two solutions to offer, so scroll down and find the one you most need to hear:
Do The Adventure – Grow Yourself.
Tourism and trips seem to be at an all time high, at least in my own world-view. My globe-trotting podcasting mum is in Italy, where they’re having the biggest tourist season in years. My daughter’s classmates seem to be taking turns going on cruises or trips to other countries. My own feed is full of people ‘living their best life’ on the road somewhere. Is it just me or does everyone love camping now? Post-covid, we all seem to desperate to get out of our own regions.
I just want to remind you I believe adventures can fit into our lives, they don’t have to be an escape from life. If doing a big trip doesn’t feel enticing, then why not think about how you can bring more adventure into your own home and your current lifestyle. What could you do this weekend, without having to pack a suitcase? The answer is – plenty of things! (For more ideas, read When You Can Only Adventure Close To Home, If Adventures Are Daunting, Just Have Fun, or Night-Time Exploring: A Mini-Adventure).
Then again, sometimes we need a push to get out of our comfort zones. Comfort zones, surprisingly, are comfortable and easy. Going on adventures is risky, it can be uncomfortable, it can actually suck and feel like a failure, and it can be inconvenient. But they’re still worth doing!
So pick something you’d really like to do, as your adventure, and make it happen. Maybe it’s not an overseas trip, or a 50km hike with small children (WTF you guys), but maybe it’s a nearby national park you’ve always wanted to see, or going for a bike ride between two towns, or having a firepit in the driveway with your neighbours. Maybe it’s going fishing with your kids or trying a surfing lesson for the first time together. Maybe it’s going to a hill, looking for constellations in the dark of a new moon.
Maybe you’re sick of ‘adventures’ because they seem too hard, or too unrealistic, or simply unlikeable. So pick something that you want to do, or that you know your kids will love, as a starting point. Choose to have fun, and take the risks and failures along the way as part of the journey. Stop calling them ‘adventures’ if that’s the thing that’s turning you off – choose a term you prefer, say, ‘quality family time’, or ‘fun as a family’, or ‘a break’.
Reword it and rewire it until you find yourself outside doing it.
2. Don’t Do the Adventure. Nap Instead.
“I’m too tired to walk! I just want to go home.” - 3 yr old. Turns out he was coming down with a cold!
Seriously, if napping sounds more preferable than getting out for some fun, then that’s a sign. You probably do need some rest. Or maybe your kids or spouse need rest, even if you don’t. And that can be tricky to navigate, but not impossible. As above, if you are seeking adventure and others in your family are craving home time, then think about bringing some adventure into your own home (I will add some ideas at the end of this article, if you need some inspiration!).
One thing about being out in nature is being able to understand that nature and life have seasons, and we do, too.
We all need periods of rest in our weeks and lives. If you’re in winter, there’s a good chance you feel more like having weekends and evenings at home, that’s just natural.
Embrace ‘your winter’, and don’t compare yourself to others. The thing is, if you allow the proper resting, down time in your life, you will have so much more energy and enthusiasm when it comes to spring and summer (literally or metaphorically!).
Sometimes we need to not adventure. Sometimes we need to focus on things around the house, on reading books in bed with a cup of tea and on going to bed early. And sometimes our family members need this too. (Word of warning - when others are needing a rest, and you force adventure, that’s when the tantrums and ‘we’re-never-doing-this-again type experiences tend to happen!)
Ladies be aware of your own body cycle too, because our moods and energy levels are so affected by our hormones during the month. It’s okay to just say ‘not this week, sorry’, because in not much time at all you’ll be bouncing around and wanting to do all-the-things again. Trust your body, know your body, and care for your body. Not going to lie, I’m an absolutely terrible adventure buddy when I’ve got my period - all I want to do is lie in bed, eat nutella, drink cuppas and BE LEFT ALONE.
I’ve had one adventure day with my son in the last six weeks, because one of us has been sick, or tired, or just needed time at home. The kids tend to get tired towards the end of school terms and just want to play. Instead of forcing them out to the beach last weekend, we just let them play at home, all day long, and my hubby and I had a little firepit and hang out too - fulfilling out need to be outdoors.
Embrace the season of life you’re in, and respect the season your family is in, too. It’s okay to say no.
Ideas for fun family Adventures at Home:
Here are some very simple ideas to bring adventure into your own home, when someone else in your family is resisting getting out and about. Maybe people in your home are in different seasons, where the kids want adventure but you’re burned out, or one spouse wants to get out of the house and the other doesn’t. These ideas can help everyone get what they need.
Another day, another backyard firepit with our kids…an awesome outdoor family activity to do at home!
Cooking – try some new meals, especially with flavours you’ve never really embraced, or from other counties. Get others involved in the process if you want, take them to a new food shop (health food, Asian markets, fresh food markets, butchers, etc).
Same goes for books, music or movies, find some new genres, or try some things from other cultures. My kids love learning dances from other cultures.
Look at maps and learn about them with your kids.
Create some fun in your home – can you do a DIY on something the kids love to play on in the back yard? When we have long stints where we need to be at home, we usually end up making something for the kids to play with, like a new tree swing or monkey bar, mud pit or garden.
Learn a new DIY skill and fix something in the house, or make something. This has the same elements of an adventure – learning, trying, comfort zones, failing, risking, achievement etc. And if your spouse is wanting you to spend more time at home, you’ll earn bonus points there.
Set up a fort or cubby or tent(!) in your loungeroom or back yard. Let the kids sleep in it.
Have candles at dinner, or sit on the floor and have a picnic in the loungeroom or backyard.
Star gaze from your own home.
Find out what bird species are local to your area, how many have you seen? How could you attract them to your yard (if it’s safe for them)? Or pick another type of animal, insect or reptile to learn about.
And, of course, plan your next trips in secret! The planning can sometimes be the barrier to going, so take the time to research, make lists, and plan your adventures.
Learn to tie knots, or bait a fishing hook, practise putting up a tent, or fixing a bike tire puncture – any skills you need to practise, see what you can learn at home to make your next adventure easier.
Go for a scenic drive. This can be comforting for whoever just feels like napping and relaxing.
Sort through old photos and videos. This has the benefit of being more organised, while also helping you reflect on memories and past adventures in your life with your loved ones and friends. Use the time to reflect and connect with one another.
Have a mini firepit. If you don’t have space, make a miniature one – look up ideas online.
Get your adventure gear out to play with at home - torches, helmets, suitcases, cameras, kayaks, ropes, etc - see how you could use them in your own home for some fun. My kids love setting our tent up in the garage, pretending they’re kayaking on the grass, and making mini movies in slow motion. They use ropes and lanterns, anything they can get their hands on, and it’s honestly pretty satisfying to watch (and a good chance to check any gear that needs fixing, repairing or updating).
Your Turn!
What else can you do to have more adventures in your own home? Send me your ideas!