Preparing for an International Trip with Kids (for the first time!)
Children flying for the first time, excited to look out the windows on our first international family holiday
I recently wrote about how our time in Queenstown, New Zealand was absolutely magical.
A Tale of Two Families
There was one moment where we were in the absolute coldest place we’ve ever been, in snow and strong winds, and the kids were squealing with delight as they slid and crunched and played around. Nearby, another family was having a HORRIBLE experience. Their kids were crying about being cold, the little ones were trying to get their snow boots and gloves off, while the dad was saying miserably, “you need to wear shoes here, it’s too cold!” Meanwhile the mother and daughter were having a stand-off, as the daughter wanted to copy our kids sliding down the snow. The mum said very loudly, “No you CAN’T slide down there, because you called me an old lady! GET IN THE CAR!” Everyone was crying or cranky as they packed up and left as quickly as they could. I can’t imagine how different their review of the Snow Farm would be to mine.
The kids playing in the snow for the first time, having the best time making a snow slide on a hill, at the Snow Farm. It’s an easy daytrip from Queenstown and one of our top 10 things to do with kids in Queenstown NZ.
The thing is, that family could just have easily been mine. We’ve had our fair share of kids not appreciating the effort it takes to get somewhere, or ruining an experience that’s supposed to be fun (and to be fair, I’ve also done those things by being stressed instead of enjoying the moment). But I was determined this trip would be amazing, and with only a week to spend overseas I couldn’t waste half of it being cranky or having whinging kids. The trip would not be worth the effort if the kids weren’t going to enjoy being in the snow! I wasn’t going to leave it up to luck.
Honestly, I believe our preparation had a great impact on our kids’ moods and us adults’ resilience the whole week we were in New Zealand.
Here’s how we prepared for our first family vacation abroad:
Keeping kids warm while winter camping - and mum too!
We went winter camping so the kids could experience the cold and wearing so many layers. As beach kids, they’re used to wearing next to nothing, so the clothing was a big part and something other parents had told me had ruined their experience of taking kids to the snow. They got used to the feeling of wearing and not wearing gloves and shoes in the cold, to make better choices. They also mastered putting these things on by themselves.
We wore snow boots around the house before we went away, to get used to the feeling of them.
We watched videos of kids learning to ski online, to show them what to expect and what it was all about. They saw other kids enjoying it. We laughed about how we would all fall over lots. When we got to the slopes, they were excited rather than overwhelmed or scared.
Trying on all our snow gear before our trip, getting used to how it feels and being excited to wear it, is all part of preparing kids for their first ski lesson.
We got a balance board which gave us all the chance to ‘practise’ our balance for skiing. I chose a board that adults could use too. I don’t know if it helped or not, because our kids have excellent balance anyway from all the activity and outdoor play they do, but neither of the kids fell over much - if at all - when they actually started skiing. They were incredible. Regardless, the balance board was a chance to talk about it and build our excitement for skiing anyway, so it was worth it.
We tried to leave early for everything. This is really important so you don’t have to rush anyone or get your stress levels up. It gives the kids a chance to walk at their own pace and not get emotional. You also tend to avoid long lines and waiting times if you’re early.
We talked about how cold it was going to be. They knew it. We knew it. And talking about it helped us come up with strategies – for example, I had extra gloves and beanies in my bag at all times, in case theirs got lost or wet. I had hand warmers ready to go if anyone needed them. And we wore extra layers no matter how ridiculous it seemed. That way we could take things off if we needed to, but we wouldn’t get cold.
We had snacks. After our first day of skiing, the kids were losing their minds as we took our gear off. I did some investigating and realised my son had barely eaten all day at Skiwiland, because he just kept filling up on hot chocolates. Another, older mum, walked past and opened a packet of lollies. She shared them with our group of kids and within two minutes my son’s mood was fixed. After that, we bought a bag of lollipops and always had a couple in my bag. (Bonus, the kids won’t whinge if they are sucking a lollipop – I picked them because they last longer than chewy lollies!)
We did small adventures, getting them used to walking further than they felt like, and helping us parents learn strategies to get them to just keep going.
We made sure there were other kids for them to play with. We learned this on our many camping trips – the kids AND adults have more fun when the kids have others to play with. We were lucky to go to New Zealand with cousins, but if they weren’t there we would have made an effort to talk to the other kids’ parents at ski school or playgrounds. We did see some kids from skiing down in town, and also kids from the airport were there too. Just spending time at playgrounds or parks also gives them the chance to interact with other kids, and gives the parents a break.
We talked about how family trips are all about relationships. Our many easy family adventures had taught me to change my expectations. Finishing a hike didn’t matter if everyone had a good time. I took this mindset to New Zealand – if the kids didn’t want to do skiing after the first day, we would adjust plans. If they weren’t up for all the things, we would spend time hanging out in our hotel room which was still a novelty for them. It’s hard to do, but the trips are about the fun times you have together, not the screaming and disappointing ruined moments to get a photo or tick off a bucket list. A bit of flexibility helps.
I’ve learned that if you go at the child’s pace whenever you can, then you get time for adult pace later when you need it. Otherwise you push and pull the whole time.
Booking important activities, flights and accommodation early meant we got to choose what was most convenient. We managed to have days so the kids were in snow school while I did adult ski lessons, we had the most direct flights (no lost baggage, no stopovers, no delays in transit, less waiting, and more time in country), and our accommodation had everything we needed (e.g. washing machine, kitchen, an outdoor courtyard to play in) in an amazing location (not too far for kids to walk anywhere and close to a coffee shop and grocery store). If you leave these things up to chance, or wait too late, you might have to compromise, which can make the experience harder when you’re there.
We didn’t book in everything. So while we organised important things early, we left a lot of flexibility and just had a list of ideas. If we needed a quiet day, we could fit it in. If the kids hated skiing, my husband wasn’t booked into lessons so he could have them while I did mine (thankfully that wasn’t necessary, but we were open to it). We had days with nothing planned in between the bookings, and this was just what we all needed to get through the busy days.
Just talking about New Zealand, about the things we would do, building excitement and expectations. For example, we talked about how we would throw snow at dad, so that was their focus when we got to the snow, not how cold they were. He talked about how he would get them back, in fun, and so when he threw snow at them they laughed instead of crying in shock (which is just as likely for my kids).
Two thumbs up for how good the snow tastes! (So glad I packed lip balm with me for my kids first snow trip!)
We’ve done week long holidays with family before, but always within our own country. I think this helped us to learn what works for us, as a family, which is different for everyone. For example we knew that our youngest needs a lot of one-on-one time to cope with doing lots of things. As the youngest he can’t keep up with the group and doesn’t understand why he should. We’ve learned about sometimes walking slower with him or taking him to his room to play cars quietly away from others to restore his energy. We’ve also learned about sticking up for what our family needs in a group setting, so we don’t overdo it for the kids (e.g. just having dinner at our own unit instead of all together every night).
Writing letters and drawing - an easy activity to keep kids entertained while flying. She also has headphones to block out the background noise of the plane (which aren’t even plugged into anything).
The days before we left, I made up their backpacks with entertaining things for the plane, car trips and accommodation. We only took simple things, but it was the excitement of something new that kept them busy. Some things I packed included a new notebook for drawing or writing in with a little pencil case filled with new pencils, a ‘magic ink’ colouring book (so they can’t get texta on hotel or airport furniture), downloaded episodes of their favourite shows on the tablet for when we didn’t have internet, a couple new hot wheels cars, some little toys we already had that they hadn’t seen in about a year, and fun snacks they aren’t normally allowed. Things like that.
I researched. So I knew people spend a lot of time worrying about how to entertain kids on long flights, but it’s out of proportion to the duration of the whole holiday - I was more interested in preparing for the skiing than the flight. I think this is because we regularly do long drives to visit family. I’m going to do another article soon about preparing for flying with kids.
There are some things you can’t prepare for, but I really believe that doing the emotional and mental prep is far more important to the trip than anyone talks about. I realise that’s my personality, but it worked.
Our kids loved it and blew our minds at how resilient, joyful, brave and patient they were the whole time. And just quietly, us parents did pretty well too.
We only had a few mornings when we struggled to wake up and needed coffee to perk our moods up a bit. My son only had one meltdown, when we lined up for a shuttle bus at the end of a big day skiing, and the bus driver told us the kids couldn’t go on. That broke him. But once he had a lollipop in the car, driving home on the mountain, talking about the highlights of the day, he was back to normal. I am sure we avoided many more meltdowns during the week too, thanks to our preparation.
We could have winged it. We could have just showed up and hoped for the best. But my plan was always to do mini-adventures to firstly, improve our lives, and secondly, to prepare for bigger trips. I still can’t believe my husband and I got to do three days skiing and snowboarding while the kids were happy doing their thing.
Honestly, all the prep was worth it, because we ended up having an even better week than we ever could have imagined or prepared for. I hope some of these tips and tricks help you to make the most of your overseas family trip too.
Related Articles to Read Next:
Visiting the Snow Farm with Kids
A Week in Queenstown with Kids